"I Must Say This": A Memoir of Justice Mridula Bhatkar That Will Deeply Disturb Your Conscience – Its Message Rings Loud and Clear, But Who Heeds the Call?

"I Must Say This" and हे सांगायला हवं

Book is available in English and Marathi

Author: Mridula Bhatkar

Publisher: Granthali Publications

Publication Date: March 11, 2022 

Price Rs 350/-

Available at Amazon,,Dnyanganga Books: ₹315.00, M&J Services, Rasik Sahitya

Book Review

“I Must Say This” is a compelling memoir by Justice Mridula Bhatkar, a former judge of the Bombay High Court. The book delves into the personal and professional challenges she faced when her husband, renowned Marathi actor Ramesh Bhatkar, was falsely accused of a serious crime. This incident thrust their family into a legal and social turmoil, testing their faith in the judicial system. Justice Bhatkar candidly narrates their ordeal, highlighting the dichotomy between her role as a judge, expected to remain away from public scrutiny, and her husband’s life as a public figure. The memoir offers a unique perspective on the intersection of personal strife and professional duty within the Indian judiciary.

The author has presented an honest portrayal of the couple’s resilience and unwavering belief in justice. This indeed is a memoir by one of the finest judges in the Indian Judiciary, 

The esteem in which Justice Bhatkar is held within the judiciary is evident, as seen in her grand farewell on her retirement from the Bombay High Court in 2019. This further emphasizes the significance of her voice and her insights into the challenges and potential for reform within the Indian legal system. 

It was a bitter coincidence in the life of a woman judge who was vociferously condemning the accused in her verdicts in cases of crimes against women that her husband was falsely fabricated in a rape complaint. 

One of the book's greatest strengths lies in its ability to humanize the legal system.  Bhatkar shares anecdotes from her cases, giving us glimpses into the lives of the people whose fates rested in her hands.  These stories are not just legal recitations; they are narratives of human experience, filled with empathy and understanding.  

The book also effectively explores the intersection of law and society. Bhatkar's insights are sharp and thought-provoking. She doesn't just describe the problems; she offers her perspective on potential solutions and emphasizes the role of the legal system in creating a more just and equitable society.

The book offers moments of introspection and vulnerability. Bhatkar shares personal experiences that shaped her values and her approach to the law, making her story relatable and inspiring.  

Before delving into Justice Mridula Bhatkar's candid observations about our law enforcement system, allow me to share a personal reflection that deeply resonates within me, and I believe will echo the anguish of every common citizen. If even a Judge of the High Court, someone intimately familiar with the workings of justice, feels such profound despair regarding the police force, what sliver of hope remains for the ordinary individual attempting to navigate the often-treacherous complexities of the legal system?

This question cuts to the very heart of public trust in the institutions designed to protect and serve. Here's a breakdown of why Justice Bhatkar's expressed despair, as highlighted in the excerpt, is so significant and what it implies for the common person:

• Loss of Faith in the Gatekeepers: The police force is often the first point of contact for a common citizen seeking justice, whether as a victim, a witness, or even someone wrongly accused. If a figure as knowledgeable and experienced as a High Court Justice harbors deep concerns about the "corruption and arrogance" within this system, it erodes the fundamental trust that citizens place in law enforcement. This can lead to a sense of helplessness and a reluctance to even approach the police, fearing further injustice or exploitation.

• Amplified Vulnerability: Common citizens typically lack the legal expertise, resources, and influence to navigate the complexities of the legal system effectively. They are often reliant on the fairness and integrity of the police to conduct impartial investigations and treat them with respect. If this foundational level of fairness is perceived to be compromised, their vulnerability is significantly amplified. They become susceptible to potential abuse of power, biased investigations, and a system that may prioritize corruption or ego over truth and justice.

• Undermining the Rule of Law: The rule of law hinges on the principle that everyone is equal before the law and that the system operates fairly and impartially. When a Justice, someone deeply embedded in and committed to this system, expresses despair about a key component like the police force, it suggests a potential undermining of this very principle. For the common citizen, this can translate into a perception that the law is not a reliable shield or a fair arbiter, but rather a system that can be manipulated or is inherently flawed.

• Sense of Powerlessness: Justice Bhatkar's words highlight a potential disconnect between the ideals of the justice system and its practical realities. For the common person, already feeling less powerful in the face of authority, such a revelation from within the judiciary can exacerbate this feeling of powerlessness. It suggests that even those at the highest levels are grappling with the imperfections and potential failures of the system, leaving the ordinary citizen with even fewer avenues for redress or hope.

• Call for Urgent Reform: The despair expressed by Justice Bhatkar, far from being merely a lament, can also be interpreted as a powerful call for urgent and systemic reform. If even those within the system recognize deep-seated issues, it underscores the critical need for introspection, accountability, and a commitment to ethical conduct within the police force and the broader legal framework. For the common person, this offers a glimmer of hope that these issues are being acknowledged and that change, however challenging, might be possible.

  
  

In essence, Justice Bhatkar's perspective acts as a stark warning. It suggests that the challenges within the police system are not merely isolated incidents but potentially systemic issues that have the power to undermine the very foundation of justice for the common person. Her despair serves as a potent reminder of the urgent need for reform and a renewed commitment to the principles of fairness, integrity, and accountability within law enforcement.

I am giving below some notable excerpts from her book : 

Assessment of Police Dept

Justice Mridula Bhatkar doesn't mince words. Her assessment of our police department isn't just critical; it's a damning indictment. She lays bare the festering sores of corruption and arrogance that plague the very institution tasked with upholding the law. When a sitting High Court Judge, someone intimately acquainted with the machinery of justice, unleashes such a blistering critique, what more needs to be said about the putrid state of our law enforcement? It's beyond broken; it's a system so fundamentally compromised that we can, with grim irony, declare it CERTIFIED rotten. The implications are chilling: if even those within the hallowed halls of justice recognize this deep-seated rot, what sliver of hope remains for the common citizen caught in its toxic grip? This isn't just a critique; it's an alarm bell screaming about the erosion of trust and the betrayal of the very principles of justice. 

“The plight of the common man at the police station, most of the times, is very pathetic. It is my experience of 11 years at the bar and 26 years as a Judge that has taught me that the police department which is so necessary and important to keep law and order is corroded by two vices - corruption and arrogance. 

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…. It is necessary for the Home Ministers of each state to understand the seriousness of this issue; and it is their responsibility to take proper steps and find a solution. To imbibe ethics and moral values in the Home Department is very essential for good governance.”

About the Police malicious handling of the false rape charges against her husband Mr Ramesh Bhatkar

Though the girl had mentioned at all about the rape in her complaint, police still doing the investigation just to harrass or probabily to falsely implicate Ramesh. 

“ … a rape case mainly stands on the statement of the prosecutrix. She had not stated about the incident of rape against any of the accused, except Ravi Naidu. What kind of investigation could be going on in such a matter? The police had not contacted a single person from the list of 110 persons, which she had given. Such was the quality of the investigation.”

About doubtful character of the girl and her mother falsely accusing her husband Mr Ramesh Bhatkar of Rape

Justice Mridula accidently came across an important piece of evidence which would have proven beyond doubt the innocence of Ramesh, It was a letter addressed to the Police Commissioner in which the father of the girl had very clearly stated that his wife (mother of the girl) is blackmailing and had also forced his daughter into prostitution. But sadly police did not use this material in their investigation. 

“ ….I asked him to open the packet and found it was a letter addressed to the Commissioner of Police, by the father of the girl against his wife, saying that she had indulged in mal-practices of blackmailing, and she had also abused their daughter i.e. the prosecutrix, by forcing her into prostitution. ….”

Maharashtra State challenging acquittal even with zero ground for it, apparently for political reasons

Ramesh was acquitted by the Court as there was NIL evidence against him. But inspite of NIL evidence, the State still filed an appeal against the acquittal, obviously for political reasons. 

“…. The revision application was filed after the period of limitation .. I did not understand what was the basis for the State to file the revision application. In many rape cases, when there is a discharge, the State does not file a revision, if there is no evidence.”

Confession by girl clearly exposing false complaint against Ramesh and very obvious malafide intention of Police in suppressing it

Continuing this disturbing narrative, consider this utterly damning piece of evidence, delivered by none other than the alleged victim herself: a clear admission of filing a false complaint against Ramesh, driven by the coercion of so-called 'social workers.' Yet, in a display of breathtaking negligence, or perhaps something far more sinister, the police deliberately ignored this crucial testimony and proceeded with their charade of a chargesheet. This single, egregious incident doesn't just raise questions; it screams volumes about the deeply flawed and potentially malicious functioning of our police department. And let us not forget, this very harassment, this blatant injustice, was inflicted upon the husband of a sitting High Court Justice – a guardian of the very system that so spectacularly failed him. If this is the treatment meted out to someone with such proximity to power, then what utter torment, what complete abandonment, must the common man endure at the hands of this broken legal machinery?

“She (prosecutrix) approached a social worker of Dalit Kobra and also ….. 

…. All three of them induced her to give a complaint against not only Naidu, but against Ramesh Bhatkar at the Wanawdi police station, She had further mentioned that the true complaint was only against Naidu. 

Thereafter in the month of .. the Dambale couple contacted her, and told her that another petition was to be filed in Delhi High Court. When she did not agree, they threatened her and demanded Rs 25,000/- which had been spent by them, for the criminal case till then. She had to lodge a complaint against Ramesh and the other accused, that they also had raped her. Otherwise they would ruin her life. Rahul Dambale assaulted her daughter; and then both of them abused her. Therefore she had lodged a complaint against the Dambale couple. The police had registered a N.C. complaint. Copies of the said statement were procured under RTI Act.  (this complaint was filed before the police had filed chargesheet against Ramesh) Was it not the duty of the police to record the statement; to enquire and make it a part of the chargesheet? Was it not the duty of the police to file B summary; (it is a report made by police, when there is no evidence or it is a false case) and submit the report accordingly before the Magistrate, in favour of Ramesh and the accused corporator in the absence of any evidence?”

But the torment didn't merely fester in the shadows of the police station; it exploded into a public spectacle with savage indifference. In an act of breathtakingly callous disregard for due process, the police, who couldn't even afford the basic courtesy of informing the accused about the life-shattering rape allegations against him, instead embarked on a self-serving publicity blitz, shamelessly broadcasting the details to every television channel and printing press in town. Ramesh and Justice Mridula learned of this monstrous accusation not through official channels, but through the garish glare of television screens, the sensationalist headlines of newspapers, and the horrified calls of friends. The media, in their insatiable hunger for the salacious, predictably turned this into a feeding frenzy, gleefully tearing apart the accused's character with their trademark blend of exaggeration, innuendo, and outright filth. For Ramesh, a man already in the unforgiving public eye, it was a trial by the media of the most brutal and dehumanizing kind, a public crucifixion fueled by speculation and malice

“Obviously in the present case, the police found it was difficult to file the summary against Ramesh because from the beginning they themselves were not sure about the case and, therefore, they did not contact Ramesh in the initial stage of investigation. But they made it big news on the television and in the press. People were informed through the media; and like most people, we too, came to know about such a prosecution through media. The media made the case sensational. 

The author, Justice Mridula, doesn't just recount her personal nightmare; she lays bare the festering wounds within our entire justice delivery system, a system so riddled with flaws that it doesn't just disappoint – it makes the very heart of the reader bleed with raw anguish and profound hurt.

This is how the truth is often suppressed under political interest, public pressure, media aggression and police inaction. 

While entering the High Court building, I used to look at the statue of justice and the statue of mercy every day. They have a special place in my heart. The ethos of ‘soulful’ emotions comes to my mind when i look at this deity. However, at that time, I used to question her as to why her scales of justice were uneven and where could I find justice!”

Imagine the searing agony of a Judge, a dispenser of justice, confronted with her own husband's name emblazoned on the High Court's Case Board, tagged with the heinous accusation of rape. Justice Bhatkar's personal torment is palpable as she recounts her utter helplessness, her powerlessness to even navigate the system she knew so intimately to simply get his matter heard. Despite her past roles as Registrar (Judicial) and Registrar General, the bureaucratic machinery remained an unyielding obstacle. The stark reality of her situation is laid bare in her own words

“It was very painful for me to see such a board, while I was working as a Judge of the Bombay High Court. Though I had worked as Registrar (Judicial) and the Registrar General, I found it very difficult to get the matter on board. The matter was not admitted and no other order was passed in revision.” 

The insidious reach of a false accusation extends far beyond the individual targeted. As Justice Bhatkar poignantly reveals, the ordeal of the falsely accused inevitably ensnares their loved ones, casting a dark shadow on their lives as well. Even the simple act of a son seeking a life partner is tainted, as she recounts with stark sadness

“Not able to register the name of (her son) Harshawardhan in marriage bureau because of the pending case FIR of rape against his father Ramesh.”

Witnessing the silent suffering of her innocent husband, Justice Bhatkar's private world became a space of unspoken agony. She offers us a glimpse into this heart-wrenching reality, those solitary awakenings in the dead of night

“All these years whenever I used to wake up, I used to look at Ramesh, and quietly turn my face to the other side and wipe my tears. I used to feel sad for him and his unfortunate plight during these trying times. Though innocent, he was presumed guilty throughout.”

Beyond the pronouncements and the weighty judgments, lies a stark reality often unseen. Justice Mridula Bhatkar pulls back the curtain on the surprising vulnerability that shadows even the highest echelons of the judiciary. In a moment of stark self-awareness, she reflects

“Thus, I realized that though a Judge is a protector of law and order and fundamental rights of the citizens; many times, there is no one to protect her / him except her / his integrity and conscience. There are her / his kavach kundal like those of Karna “

Now we arrive at the abyss, the most desolate and harrowing chapter in the lives of Justice Mridula and her celebrated husband, Ramesh Bhatkar. Imagine the suffocating darkness, the crushing weight of despair fueled by a relentless, predatory media and a police force wielding its power with vindictive, politically charged intent. It is in this suffocating void that they contemplate the ultimate escape, the final surrender. This glimpse behind the glittering facade of celebrity and the stoic demeanor of a Justice is chilling, a stark testament to the unbearable pressure they endured. If a guardian of the very laws she upheld, a beacon of justice for others, could be driven to such utter hopelessness in securing justice for her own beloved husband, to the point of considering the extinguishing of their own lives, then what desolate fate awaits the common person ensnared in the merciless gears of this system? Words fail me. There is only a profound, gut-wrenching sorrow for the darkness that threatened to consume them.

 “We were both sinking in the feeling that everything was lost. Nobody was there with us. Ramesh received a phone call on his cell phone from one of his friends, asking whether he was invited for the wedding of another friend's daughter. He said no. But the friend told him that his friend had taken the decision not to invite him, because people from the groom's side would not appreciate his presence as he is an accused in a rape case. For Ramesh, all his friends were very dear to him; and we felt that we no longer had any status or position in society. We did not deserve to live. We had no right to survive. Suddenly at 3 p.m., Ramesh came to me and held my hands and told me - "Mridula, I want to end my life". I looked at him and said, I too did not want to live… (about calling their son in the U.S. and informing him) ; not to mention a word about our Plan; give him our blessings and then, go quietly to the railway station in the dark, lie down on the railway track and finish ourselves. Ramesh started listing down the properties and assets which we had, so that it would be easy for Harshawardhan to know about them. We prepared a joint will. It was about six in the evening. Our eyes were full of tears and our hearts filled with despair and agony. As Ramesh started writing a letter to Harshawardhan, I was sitting by his side in our bedroom. Suddenly, our telephone, which had been disconnected for past 32 hours, started ringing. Astonished, I quickly answered the phone. Caller: Hello, Mridula Tai. Mee Dhananjay (Hon'ble Dr. Justice D.Y. Chandrachud) boltoy. Kashe Aahat? (How are you) Me: I just said hello (and murmured something) Justice Chandrachud: Just now, I finished reading your judgments and I found them very good. Justice Radhakrishnan and 1 are on the Committee and I rated your judgments very high. So don't worry. We are waiting for you to join the bench soon.”

In that abyss of despair, as the very will to exist flickered and threatened to extinguish entirely, a lifeline appeared, seemingly woven from the very fabric of destiny. That single, unexpected ring of the resurrected telephone was more than just a call; it was a celestial intervention, a whisper from the universe itself. In that moment, teetering on the precipice of oblivion, Justice Mridula and Ramesh heard not just the voice of a respected colleague, but an echo of hope, a divine nudge back from the brink. It was a stark reminder that even in the darkest night, a single spark of light can ignite a renewed purpose. This one phone call became a profound turning point, a spiritual awakening that pulled them from the shadows. It was a testament to the enduring power of human connection and the unwavering, albeit sometimes hidden, hand of fate.

And perhaps, most poignantly, Justice Chandrachud, in that moment of simple, heartfelt appreciation, could not have fully grasped the monumental impact of his words. He, in his kindness, provided the proverbial straw to a sinking soul, a fragile yet powerful anchor in their sea of despair. His call, a seemingly ordinary act, became an extraordinary catalyst, saving not one, but two precious lives from the encroaching darkness. In that instant, the desire to surrender transformed into a fierce resolve to live, to rise from the ashes of despair, and to fight, not just for their own vindication, but for the very principle of justice itself.

The final pages of "I Must Say This" don't simply conclude; they leave an indelible scar. Justice Mridula Bhatkar's narrative transcends the confines of her own experience, reaching into the raw, exposed nerves of the common citizen. The stories she recounts are not abstract legal cases; they are visceral echoes of the everyday struggles against a system that too often feels rigged and indifferent. What lingers long after the book is closed isn't just a sense of injustice; it's a profound ache of personal hurt, a cold wave of hopelessness washing over the reader as the true, sordid reality of our police system is laid bare, alongside the media's often cruel and sensationalistic handling, particularly in cases involving public figures.

And this leaves us with a gnawing unease, a cascade of critical questions. What fundamental reforms are desperately needed to salvage this seemingly broken system? Who are the true custodians of justice, and who must be held accountable for its failings? In this disheartening reality, where can the ordinary citizen, stripped of influence and resources, turn for genuine redressal and a glimmer of hope? A far more troubling thought then surfaces, a question that chills to the very bone: could this pervasive sense of helplessness and the perceived decay of the very institutions meant to protect them ultimately drive the common, law-abiding individual towards the dangerous fringes of radicalism? I dare not venture an answer, for the mere contemplation of such a future is profoundly disturbing.